Boomer Grandparents Show They’re Not Exactly The ‘Village’ Modern Parents Need -

They say it takes a village to raise a child, but according to some parents, Boomers might not be that village. Reddit user and mom Tonybeetzzz took to r/Parenting to vent about her parents, calling them “horrible grandparents” for always choosing to stay home instead of spending time with her kids.

She didn’t stop there. Tonybeetzzz went on to say it wasn’t just her situation—she blamed the entire Baby Boomer generation for failing to step up and do their part in childcare and family support.

Her unfiltered honesty struck a chord online. The post racked up tons of comments, with parents weighing in on everything from family dynamics and grandparenting roles to mental health for parents and the challenges of raising children in today’s world. Of course, not everyone agreed with her take, sparking a heated discussion about generational responsibility, child development, and the real meaning of family support.

Exhausted parents need all the help they can get

Elderly grandparents interacting with young children, illustrating differences in modern parents and family dynamics.

Image credits: Pixabay/Pexels (not the actual photo)

And this mother believes Boomer grandparents aren’t doing their part

Text excerpt discussing boomer grandparents and modern parents receiving mixed reactions on parenting styles.

Text excerpt highlighting parenting memories and feelings about modern parents not hitting the same, sparking mixed reactions.

Text on white background stating a personal view on modern parents and visitation habits in the context of modern parenting.

Text discussing modern parents and contrasting them with the boomer generation, sparking mixed reactions online.

Image credits: tonybeetzzzADVERTISEMENT

But plenty of people disagree with her

Screenshot of an online discussion where users debate modern parenting and share mixed reactions about parenting styles.

Screenshot of a discussion about modern parents and generational differences with mixed reactions online.

Screenshot of an online discussion about modern parents and their involvement, highlighting mixed reactions from users.

Reddit discussion about modern parents and changing family dynamics, with mixed reactions from users sharing experiences.

Screenshot of a social media comment discussing modern parents and their level of interest in their children.

Comment discussing frustrations with modern parents during planned family vacations, highlighting mixed reactions about parenting styles.

Comment discussing how modern parents and grandparents differ in involvement and attention towards their children.

User comment discussing modern parents and grandparents, highlighting generational differences and mixed reactions.

Comment discussing generational differences in parenting with mixed reactions about modern parents not hitting the same.

Older couple smiling and watching a laptop together, discussing modern parents and mixed reactions online.

Image credits: Marcus Aurelius/Pexels (not the actual photo)

Another parent said they share the sentiment

Text discussing how modern parents and grandparents differ in babysitting roles compared to previous generations, with mixed reactions.

Text about modern parents contrasted with previous generations, discussing how modern parenting just doesn’t hit the same.

Text about Generation B becoming grandparents and questioning the cultural shift in modern parents' behavior.

Image credits: ThinParamedic7859

And received a little more positive feedback

Commenter discusses how modern parents and grandparents differ, highlighting generational shifts and mixed reactions to parenting styles.

Reddit conversation discussing how modern parents just don’t hit the same with mixed reactions from users.

Screenshot of an online discussion about how modern parents just don’t hit the same, showing mixed reactions from users.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing modern parents and family support, reflecting mixed reactions on parenting nowadays.

User comment discussing challenges of modern parenting and family support, reflecting on mixed reactions to modern parents.

Comment discussing parenting challenges and mixed reactions about how modern parents handle their roles today.

Screenshot of an online comment discussing opinions about modern parents and generational differences in parenting styles.

Reddit user shares personal views on modern parents and babysitting, sparking mixed reactions about parenting today.

Text post discussing differing experiences with modern parents and how some just don’t hit the same.

Screenshot of a Reddit conversation discussing challenges faced by modern parents with grandparenting and parenting support.

Text comment discussing how modern parents differ from grandparents due to work demands and health, impacting energy levels.

Text comment discussing generational differences in parenting and grandparent roles with mixed opinions shared online.

Online comment discussing generational views on entitlement and modern parents with mixed reactions.

But is it really the case? The numbers and experts say otherwise

Boomer Grandparents Show They’re Not Exactly The ‘Village’ Modern Parents Need

Image credits: cottonbro studio/Pexels (not the actual photo)

A 2024 poll revealed that 60% of American adults aged 50 and older have at least one grandchild, including step-grandchildren, adopted grandchildren, and even great-grandchildren. Interestingly, 27% of these grandparents reported having five or more grandchildren.

The survey also asked grandparents with grandchildren under 18 how often they see them. About 18% see their grandkids daily or almost every day, 23% see them at least once a week, and another 23% see them once or twice a month. Meanwhile, 36% said they only connect with their grandchildren every few months or less.

When it comes to grandparental childcare, nearly half (49%) of grandparents provide care at least once every few months, 20% look after one or more grandchildren weekly, and 8% provide daily or near-daily care. Clearly, family support and elder involvement are crucial in raising the next generation.

Generations United, a Washington, D.C.-based nonprofit launched over 35 years ago in partnership with AARP, advocates for grandfamilies. Executive director Donna Butts points out, “Grandparents have been stepping in to raise grandchildren since the beginning of our country. But it has increased in recent years, especially during crises.”

It’s not just an American phenomenon. A 2023 UK survey found that over half (52%) of grandparents provide childcare services during the workweek, averaging more than four hours a day—or about 22 hours weekly. Many grandparents also care for their grandchildren during school holidays. Surprisingly, this unpaid support costs UK grandparents about £80 ($107) per week—more than £4,000 ($5,300) annually.

Carole Easton, psychotherapist and CEO of the Centre for Ageing Better, told The Guardian that among her grandparent friends, there’s often a strong sense of obligation: “I’m not sure how they [the parents] would manage if we didn’t do this.” She explained that it’s less a complaint and more an acknowledgment that there’s often no real choice when it comes to supporting family.

From child development and parenting tips to financial planning for grandparents and mental health for seniors, it’s clear that grandparents play a huge, often underappreciated role in modern family life.