Birthday Trip Falls Apart After Friend With New Baby Keeps Adjusting Plans, Then Cuts Off Contact
Milestone birthdays usually call for something special—bringing close friends together, making memories, and celebrating the years still ahead. It’s that perfect excuse to plan a little adventure, maybe even splurge on a getaway.
For today’s Original Poster’s (OP) friend, the idea was just that—a dream trip to Costa Rica with her two closest friends, soaking up the tropical landscapes, relaxing on the beaches, and finally getting that much-needed break from everyday stress. It sounded like the ultimate vacation package. But what started as an exciting plan with all the right intentions quickly turned into something else entirely. Instead of bonding, the friendship got tested in ways no one expected, leaving the trip—and the relationship—hanging in the balance.
What was once effortless friendship can suddenly require negotiation, compromise, and understanding as priorities and availability change
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One of the author’s friends planned a birthday trip with her and another friend, who was reluctant to go because she had had a baby four months earlier
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The friends booked a five-day trip, but the other friend repeatedly suggested shortening or canceling her portion
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Attempts to compromise, including offering a private driver to ease her travel, failed as the friend ultimately withdrew completely from the trip
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Since then, she has not communicated with either of them and has ignored messages, leaving the friendship strained
The OP’s friend had this big idea—celebrating her milestone birthday with a Costa Rica trip. She invited OP and another close friend along. While the birthday girl and OP were hyped for tropical vibes, the third friend had just given birth four months earlier and made it pretty clear she wasn’t into the idea. Still, with a little push from her husband, she reluctantly agreed. But honestly, from the very beginning, her lack of enthusiasm showed.
Costa Rica isn’t exactly the easiest place to wing it—the tricky one-lane roads meant every travel day needed planning. With only five days on the itinerary, the group already had limited time to explore. But when the reluctant friend asked to leave earlier, it basically cut another day out of the trip. That’s when OP and the birthday girl decided to extend their stay without her, and she ended up shortening her plans even more.
When her new return schedule threatened to eat into their trip again, they suggested she take a private driver. They even offered to help cover the cost—kind of like travel insurance against losing more time. At first, she agreed, but later backed out, saying she wasn’t comfortable traveling alone. Eventually, she decided to cancel altogether, calling the whole thing too complicated.
The OP and her friend were sad, of course, but they didn’t pressure her to change her mind. After all, she had been upfront from the start that she didn’t want to go. But now, three months later, she still hasn’t spoken to either of them. OP can’t help but think this isn’t about trip planning at all—it feels like a deeper pattern, the kind that makes you wonder if friendship advice, online therapy, or even relationship counseling could help with those moments when someone always finds a way to make it about themselves.
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According to Healthline, the postpartum period usually refers to the first six weeks after childbirth, though many experts believe it can last up to six months or longer. It’s an intense time for new moms—the body is still healing from delivery, hormones are shifting like crazy, and mood swings can feel overwhelming. For some women, this is also when postpartum depression treatment or extra mental health support becomes important.
On top of physical recovery, most new mothers juggle breastfeeding struggles, sleep deprivation, and the emotional adjustment of stepping into parenthood—especially for first-time moms. It’s a stage that requires patience, self-care, and often some level of family counseling or parenting tips to help balance both the parent’s wellbeing and the baby’s needs.
Friendships during adulthood are never static—they’re always shifting. Vox notes that big life events—marriage, parenthood, moving, career changes, even loss—can completely reshape priorities and how much time people have for each other. That doesn’t mean the friendship is broken, but it does mean flexibility and understanding are key.
Wondermind also highlights practical strategies for resolving friendship conflicts when priorities clash: communicate openly, really listen instead of reacting, show empathy, and focus on solutions instead of replaying the problem over and over. Practicing forgiveness and finding common ground are basically the golden rules of conflict resolution in any relationship, whether it’s friendships or couples therapy.
Most netizens sided with the OP, saying the postpartum friend was being unfair and that OP and the birthday girl weren’t wrong to set boundaries—it was reasonable for them to prioritize their own vacation time. But some commenters were quick to point out that being just four months postpartum is no small thing, and that maybe she had legitimate reasons rooted in exhaustion and emotional stress.
So what’s your take—was the friend justified in backing out, or should she have handled the situation with clearer communication? Drop your thoughts below—we’d love to hear them.
While some netizens believe the friend’s behavior is immature, others acknowledged that it wasn’t fair to expect her to travel, as she had just recently given birth
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